


For Justice’s Sake

by billspilledquill



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Live Action TV)
Genre: Crack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, One-Sided Amane Misa/Yagami Light, this is death note where yagami light is allowed to say fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27109753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billspilledquill/pseuds/billspilledquill
Summary: Fake dating with the prime Kira suspect mid-investigation is as unlikely as you think. And yet.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 27
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember this is drama Death Note: L is a pretty face clean freak who is slightly dumb and Light cries for reasons undisclosed to nature. This entire fic is fueled by my love for Kubota Masataka and nothing else, thank you very much, amen.

  
They can’t see each other like this again, Light reasoned.

“Okay,” Misa said.

“We cannot be a couple neither,” Light said.

Misa trusted her hands in his; her eyes gleamed. “Why not?”

Light let her be. The touch became too much when the hallway started whispering. “Not in public, anyway,” he reassured. He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring. “You are a star, Misa. I am a nobody. You can’t come to our school like this.”

“But you are not a nobody! You are-"

“It’s better,” Light said quickly, throwing glances around him, “if I am a nobody, Misa. For that, I need you to stop coming here. We can meet somewhere more discreet. Only when I call you.”

“Oh,” she said, and hesitantly, dropped her hands to the side. “Okay.”

Whispers circled them. Light backed a step, not before letting out a breath, sighing. “L is unto me.”

He had expected her to be surprised, or at least be alarmed. A misstep and they die. But Misa simply rose her head to his and smiled.

“I love you,” she said.

Yamamoto had stopped talking to him after their little scene in the hallway. When lunchtime came, Light was bothered by how much he did not mind eating alone. There was so much to think about. There was so much he can’t say. When he glanced down at his lunch, he realized that he had already finished his meal.

“Are you two like… _this_?”

“It’s a very rude gesture,” Light pointed out, scrolling through his phone for news.

“It’s _Misa-Misa_!” the girl said indignantly. “No wonder why Yamamoto stopped hanging out with us. You are her boyfriend, aren’t you?”

“No,” Light said. There was another Kira case. In Finland, a hitman had died of a heart attack. In Japan, another had died the same manner at the same hour. “We are just friends. Close acquaintances.”

“How did you get to know her?”

Light closed the tab. “It’s a long story.”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “She seems to like you well enough. And it’s weird. I mean, you’re a nobody, and she’s- she’s a pop star! You know there’s an online forum dedicated to what happened yesterday in the hallway?”

Light groaned. “What’s wrong with them?”

“What’s wrong with _you_? She likes you! She’s super cute- and you go to every concert she’s in! I wish I had that luck…”

Light laughed. “With Ruyga?”

She crackled, slapping his back. Light choked on his spit. “Mention his name and I will kill you, Light.”

“Oh,” he croaked out, “no.”

She smiled. It was less like Misa and more like a Shinigami. “I’m serious. Don’t mention him again.”

“What has he done to you?”

She looked at him. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“What do I not know?”

She sighed and clapped his back again as if to soothe herself. “Ryuga-kun says he is taken.”

Light couldn’t help it.

“Stop laughing!”

“Ah,” Light tried, then couldn’t. Tried again. “Sorry.”

She crossed her arms. “You don’t look like it.”

“No.” Light levelled his breath. He had not laughed like this for a long time. “I suppose not. Are you sure you are not talking about the idol?”

She shook her head vigorously. She twirled in her seat and leaned towards him. “Ask him yourself,” she said.

And so she left her seat with a flourish, greeting L in the middle of her powerful stride to the door. Light thought he saw her give a thumbs-up, and some dramatic swiping of tears via the exit.

Light wanted to gnaw on his nails.

“Yagami-kun.”

Light’s fingers twitched in his seat. “Ryuga,” he greeted. L slumped in the girl’s chair and crossed his legs. Light resisted the urge to shut his eyes close. All his friends seemed to like to resort to dramatics today—and L, of course, hadn’t changed from his usual demeanour.

“The class is about to start,” Light announced.

L was busy staring at him. _I am not Kira_ , he almost uttered, but that spelled suspicion. “I didn’t know that you were studying economics,” Light said.

L smiled. He smiled unlike any other; tight-lipped, a tug from the side, the fakest thing he had ever seen anyone wear without at least a _semblance_ of self-awareness. “The teachers are accommodating,” he said.

“Because your IQ is over 300 and your bank account nearly quadruple it,” Light said, then added, because he wasn’t _that_ bad of a student, “exponentially speaking.”

That smile. He was going to wipe it off his face someday.“Yagami-kun is smart.”

“I’m really not.”

L turned his head to the board. “Yagami-kun is right. He’s not that brilliant.”

Light really wanted to shut his eyes. Preferably never wake up. He brought a hand to his temple and squeezed. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

That made L’s head snap back at him. “It would help me if Yagami-kun stops being this dense, however.”

He waved a hand. “Please stop insulting me and attend your girlfriend, Ryuga. You can get top scores for any exams given here as long as you can breathe.”

L blinked. “What?”

Light pocketed his phone. The teacher was writing on the broad, her shoes clicking as she surveyed the room. Light dropped his voice. “Don’t tell me that you can’t ace a college-level economics exam, Ryuga.”

L’s voice was unabashed. It didn’t matter whether he whispered or shouted, L will attract glances everywhere he went. “Yagami-kun is deliberately misunderstanding my line of inquiry.”

“Yagami. Silence.”

The teacher was noticing their little exchange and glared at him. Only at Light, of course. L was having fun branding his feet on the table, switching it as he crossed and uncrossed them.

“Yagami-kun-"

Light ignored him.

“Yagami-kun isn’t listening to me.”

Light swung his backpack to the side. The sun was setting. “We were in class.”

“Well, he isn’t listening to me now.”

L’s clothes were drenched in colours, the setting sun casting shadows. There was something otherworldly about L’s dress code; there was something otherworldly about L. A whisp of leaves gathered on the ground, only to be propelled to the sky in one single thought. A blink and L was facing him, an odd smile on his face.

“What?”

“There’s a leaf on Yagami-kun’s hair.”

“Oh.” He ran a hand through. A green leaf fell between them. “Sorry.”

L shot him a look, but then again, he always did. “As I was saying,” L began, “I wanted to-"

“Ryuga-kun!”

School was behind them. If it wasn’t for the utter boredom in L’s features and the sheer ridiculousness of his white shirt and shoes and pants, he might be one of the students. Like any student. Like Light. Like this boy that was trying a little too hard to be an A normal human being.

“Ryuga-kun,” the boy insisted, his face an unhealthy colour of red. “I, I heard from Himura-san that you’re. Um, _taken_?”

L made a noise of confirmation. Light didn’t know whose head he wanted to break open to see if there was anything inside. The boy flushed brighter. People started to gather around them, L had become more or less famous in their school because of how utterly weird he was. That, and the fact that he apparently had more money than god and a face that rivalled it.

Light wanted to leave.

“May, may I ask who it is?” The boy gasped, backtracking. “Ah, my friend wanted to know, so she asked me to-“

“It’s him.”

A scream. A girlish one. “A _man_?” 

Ah, Light thought, a crowd again. If he didn’t have a Shinigami hovering over him with the power of eliminating anyone in his path with a stroke of a pen, he would have questioned why his normalcy got threatened every so often. Damn celebrities and their fan clubs.

L elbowed him. “Light.”

Eyes on him. Light scowled at the ground. “What?”

A hand was extended to him. A clean palm and a silver ring.

“It’s you.”

Of course. “Okay,” Light simply said, because even as Kira he got tired of being accused as Kira sometimes. “Who am I again?”

“My date.”

Light snapped his head up. L had an odd smile. He always had an odd smile. Light wanted to write his name in the notebook. L leant in, whispered, “I will explain later,” and left him with a crowd twice the size of Misa’s show and an intent to kill so strong that Light couldn’t quite breathe.

His friend was in tears, though. She looked betrayed and worryingly enough, strangely elated.

“If you’re with Ryuga, how about you introduce Misa-Misa to me?” she said. “Oh, Yamamoto will be happy, don’t worry, he won’t be against you two if you leave Misa alone…”

But the crowd had pushed her away. The boy from earlier seemed to have run off to either tell his made-up friend about L’s sudden and stupid declaration or to brawl his eyes out under some tree. Light remembered telling Sayu to stop watching these kinds of TV shows because they burnt IQs faster than light. Faster than Light was breathing right now, probably.

Fuck.

“No way…”

“Ryuga? That super-rich guy? Man, he sure got some knack for coming out in front of the entire school…”

“Who is he with? I don’t see him…”

“He’s right in front of you…”

“Oh, looks alright… what’s his name…”

“I know, I know… I saw him in the forum with Misa-Misa…”

That was how Yagami Light, despite being an extremely average economics student in an extremely average college (and being part-time Kira, writing down names of criminals in order to achieve world peace), got famous in his school, much to his dismay, and much to the happiness of the Death God, whose entire body language spells ‘I crave chaos and destruction and today is a field day.’

Maybe Light can get away with writing all their names down.

“Yagami Light! That’s his name…”

“Yagami…”

“Light…”

“A weird name…”

“Hey!” Yamamoto cried out. “That’s my friend!”

Light buried his head in his hands and tried not to cry.

Maybe Light should write his own damn name.

“Fuck,” Light said calmly, buckled his shoes, and fled the scene. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have approx. 10 uni projects due this week and the next and yet I can’t write anything but crack I’m sorry to anyone involved & if the following chapter makes no sense, I mean, it _is_ crack, after all
> 
> Drama light is shy! Drama light is shy! Drama light is shy! This is true so I have to repeat. Conversely I’m also losing my mind 
> 
> If you read this, thank you! why would anyone read anything in this cursed month of November is beyond me but I’m glad that you are!

  
“… I am very happy with your son, Soichiro-san.”

“What.”

“I hope you understand that it’s a bit sudden for me. My son had always been a quite average boy, and to think that he had to hide his inclination from me over the years…”

“ _What_ ,” Light said, louder this time. His father patted his back and seemed to hold back tears.

“I think we should have a party!” Matsuda cried out. “Like an engagement party, but like, for dating?”

“An anniversary cake?” Misora prompted.

“Has Light been considerably informed of proper procedures concerning, uh—“

“I can make sure of that,” Watari said. Light made a tiny sound that spelt murder.

“Yes, you do that!” Matsuda gave a thumbs up. “Hey, is there an anniversary coming up, Ryuzaki?’

“We have only started going out a few weeks ago,” L said blankly. “I’m afraid there would be no cakes.” L took a bite off his energy bar, munching over the word, “unfortunately.” Matsuda looked so beaten by this news that it cheered Light up a little— up until three seconds later.

“Hm,” Mogi said, still crossing his arms. “Maybe next time, then.”

What was that supposed to even _begin_ to mean? “L,” Light said, and much to his dismay, all eyes went to him with a sort of demented expectation. Thank god that his dad looked just as uncomfortable as he was. “Ryuga, I—”

L swung in his chair and beckoned him over. Just as Light did, to many faults of his own, what L wanted, L leant in and kissed him on the cheek.

Matsuda made a very inhuman sound. Mogi-san hit him in the back of his head, Light supposed, finding that the tiled floor was a more interesting feature in this otherwise stupid room full of stupid people (his father aside).“Uh,” Light said, staggering. “So.”

L looked at him. “Yes?”

Light wondered how he can say _I want to go home_ without sounding just a tad babyish. He settled on something like a whimper. Which was good enough for him, Light reasoned, covering his cheek with his hand, blinking.

“Uh,” Light repeated helpfully.

“The work is done for today,” L announced with his elbow on his desk. “Would you lend your son to me for a moment, Yagami-san?”

His father looked blessedly hesitant for a second before he turned to Light and said, “Be careful, Light.”

Light resisted the “ _what_ ” and “why” and “ _please_ let me go” on the tip of his tongue and bit on it. He gave a curt nod, and watched with despair his father crossing the door, and then Matsuda, and then another, and another. Light tasted blood.

“And Watari, too.”

“Willful,” Watari muttered, and exited the room as well.

L laughed at him when Light rounded on him. “Let me explain,” L drawled, unbothered by the way Light was currently holding him by the wrist.

“Can Light-kun release me from his passionate hold for a while?” L shook his hand away, Light pulling back just as quickly. “As I was saying—”

“You have been _saying_ for a while—"

“— I think it would be best—"

“— and yet there has been nothing—”

“— if we pretend to date.”

“— of substance,” Light said, and in the next breath, choked on it. “ _What?”_

L nodded. “He’s been saying this word a lot.”

It’s because everyone is dumb and stupid at every single thing they do. Light had a _plan_ , for fuck’s sake. The FBI has started moving. Light can’t do anything with L still nagging him every step of the way. Light’s can’t do a single thing if he was going to _date_ the bastard.

“Why?”

L flopped in his seat, crossing his legs, uncrossing them like the bastard that he was. “I need Light-kun to stay with me,” L said, nonchalant to the expression that Light was making right now. “Twenty four hour surveillance.”

“Because you think I’m Kira?”

“Because he is Kira.”

Light crossed his arms, only a split second before retaining himself from stomping his feet to the ground. He couldn’t mention the cameras. He wasn’t supposed to be aware of it. “Then you can just put me in a cell or something…”

“Doesn’t he want to go to school?”

Light worried his lips. Right. That was suspicious of an ordinary student, not wanting to go to school. Or was it? “I wouldn’t if everyone thinks that I am cheating on a singer for a school idol.”

“I thought Light-kun would be more concerned with the fact that we are both men,” L said. “Reputation is very important if one wants to stay in the shadow.”

Light snapped. “Don’t treat me like a child, L.”

L glanced at him, mimicking his tone. “I’m doing this for you, Light-kun.”

L titled his face to the ceiling, his arms spread on the armrest. “His father believes that he’s clear of suspicion,” L said. “I would assume that he would be troubled if I told Yagami-san that he’s still very much suspicious, and more to that, I consider him to be my prime suspect. Telling him a ridiculous lie would be best for the moment, don’t you think? If it comes from me, then your father will believe it.”

“I,” Light began, indignant, then deflated. “Yes,” he conceded, if not only for the prickling of guilt in his heart. “My father will be worried. Sayu, too.”

“Light-kun cares about his family.”

“Of course I do.”

“Does it stem from his mother’s early death?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Would you die for them?”

Light frowned. “Is that a test?”

“So I’m right,” L said, jumping right up from the armchair. Light scurried to follow him.

“I didn’t say that,” Light mumbled. Together they walked down the hall. There were no pictures in that narrow way, and the lights, dim as they were, didn’t seem to reach the floor.

“We will be sleeping in this room,” L said.

“ _We_?”

“Light-kun likes to express surprise through one-syllabic word,” L observed, and entirely missed the point. “It would be charming if not slightly redundant.”

“You—"

L stopped abruptly; Light hit his nose on his back. The door was before them.

“Twenty-four-hour surveillance,” L reminded him, and turned the handle to reveal a room whiter than an amok of goose playing in a snowstorm. “I told Watari to prepare for two beds.”

Was it legal to be this thick? “There’s only _one_ bed here,” Light pointed out.

“Oh. That’s too bad, then,” L said, not even bothering to appear surprised. L made the first step into the room. Light stood there, peeking his head in. “Does Light-kun need a shower before going to bed? Come in. I never thought Light-kun to be the hesitant type.”

“I’m not any _type_ ,” Light grumbled.

“Right,” L said, strangely sincere.“Light-kun is just himself.”

What. “Right,” Light repeated weakly. What the fuck was that. Light stepped carefully on the white tiles, and added as he glanced around the room, “Are you afraid of colours or something? Aside from your hair, I don’t see anything other than white here.”

L hummed. “Light-kun is wearing blue today.”

“Yes?” Light said, suddenly aware of his careless jeans and jacket. God knows how much the thing he was stepping on cost. “I’m a normal human being, Ryuga. I don’t wear clothes like I come from outer space.”

L sat on the corner of the bed, gave it a little wiggle. “When he isn’t nervous anymore, he actually talks a lot…”

“Ryuga.”

“Does he do that with his other friends?”

Light took a deep breath. Control. Don’t break his jaw. “Ryuga, listen—”

“I’d think that Light-kun doesn’t have many friends, probably around three or four. There’s a high chance that he was bullied, or that one of his friends were, given the fact that he appears to be self-conscious whenever he passes through a certain group of people— not to mention the shy demeanour he puts on in campus—"

“I did not,” Light said. When L didn’t appear to have heard him, Light pulled the thread of his clothes. “I did _not_.”

“—I couldn’t hear his voice five feet away,” L finished, and seemingly satisfied in degrading him to the ground, closed his eyes and ignored Light’s quiet fuming.

“Stop making observations like I’m not here!”

“Um?” L turned to him, his eyes round and sparkling. Girls fell for that, Light reminded himself. “Light-kun is free to make observations about me. It’s only just.”

L had no right to talk about what was just. Light bit the inside of his cheek, trying to find something polite to say—

“Who do you think I am?”

Light blinked, staring down at the man sitting on the bed, his eyes closed, looking as peaceful as Light was not. If only he knew his name. Light thought about closing his hands around the throat, to push the back and let it fall the ledge. It occurred to Light that they were standing right where he wanted them to: on the edge of something sharp, and that Light only had to cut in.

The bed creaked as loud as the floor did, Light thought mindlessly. L opened his eyes as Light fell beside him, his hand on his wrist. He had done this earlier. But it was different. L was supposed to be smart. He was supposed to know what it meant.

“You want me to tell you who you are?” Light said. “Don’t be stupid. You know exactly who you are.”

L grinned. “I am never stupid.”

Light’s hand shook as he went to take L’s in his. Control. Don’t be suspicious. Don’t punch him. “You’re my friend, Ryuga,” Light said, and worked his mouth like a gaping fish, managed to say, “You’re my date.”

Light comforted himself in knowing that he was doing it for a good cause. So this was how he became his enemy slash friend slash maybe-best-friend’s lover: world peace.

Good enough for him. 

Sayu would watch that kind of thing, Light mused. She liked those soap operas too much for his liking. Oh yes, Light thought when L came closer, Sayu will have a riot. The death god was having one right now.

“This is fun,” Ryuk said, balancing his pseudo-hips on L’s white armrests. “If you don’t hurry up, I think he might kill you though, Light-o.”

L kissed him on the cheek again, showing him what to do when they go to school tomorrow. Light laughed. As if. Light will get him in the end. He will dispose of him soon.

“Light-kun is very inexperienced,” L said. 

_Very_ soon, hopefully.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theory: they can’t say the word “boyfriend” because they are both virgins


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still crack, I swear. Them having a civilized conversation? Very much a mad-thing. Also: happy holidays!

“This is sex,” Ryuk said.

 _No_. Light thought very hard but couldn’t say, as L stood before him with zero idea how a virtual god is trash-talking him into annoyance right now. “Good morning, Ryuga,” Light said instead, hoping that this world would then have the decency to be quiet for just a good, blissful second. 

“The last Death Note user liked to do this in front of me—”

Ryuk made a human-equivalent of a pout. Light grit his teeth. Ryuk twisted his neck 360 degrees, did a splendid backflip, and made some noise as guise for a response. He got his pseudo-hands framing his pseudo-skull, and Light decided (again, just for good measure): bastard, every single one of them.

“Good morning, Light-kun,” L greeted. “Slept well?”’

Light shrugged, pointedly did not look at Ryuk, whose eyes were large and glinting with interest. “You weren’t _sleeping_.”

“Ah,” L said. He turned to Ryuk without knowing, the latter doing another impressive yet stupid flip in the room. Then turned to Light. “So you slept well?”

“I slept alright,” Light said, gesturing in what he hoped was a helpful manner. “You just stared at the ceiling and couldn’t stop moving. Absolutely nothing occurring for the best of time except for your constant jittering.”

“If Light-kun is able to detect me during the night it means that he has not slept,” L replied airily. “The premise is therefore false.”

If Light weren’t Kira and a decent person, would he want to murder L anyway? The answer is yes. Yes, absolutely. And Light would _still_ be a decent person, in his defence. “You,” Light said, “were very loud, Ryuga.”

“I am not used to have another person in my bed.”

“Well I am not either!”

“Light-kun is too loud in the early morning,” L said, making a show of checking the clock. “Maybe I should reconsider my proposal.”

Light threw his hands in the air. “You are the one to talk? You are the one— I have been listening to you move in bed the entire night! Do you have any idea how distracting it is?”

“Light-kun slept just fine. Your breathing indicated so.”

“You just said that I have not slept!”

Light had his hand on L’s wrist again, as it had happened what seemed like for the millionth time. L tugged one-side of his lips, the sharp teeth beneath startling. Light tore himself away; L shook his wrist and laughed a little.

“Breakfast is ready,” L said, and left. As though he knew Light would follow.

Ryuk was having a blast. “It is exactly like sex,” he said, and when Light grabbed the pillow and threw it at his general direction— it went right through.

“What does he like to eat?”

“I mean, nothing in particular.” Light staggered, fumbling over what seemed like real silver cutlery. “But this is, uh. It’s basically a holiday feast, Ryuga.”

L blinked. He stared at the twenty something plates and leant over his chair. “What would he like to eat, then?”

Sometimes L was odd in his kindness. Sometimes Light didn’t know how to deal with it, especially when he was presented with a medium-rare steak at seven in the morning. “No,” Light said, willing his stomach to stay healthy after what was in retrospect an awful decision. “No it’s alright. You have prepared enough. I, uh, will eat?”

L smiled. “Good,” he said. L took his juice box and took a sip. “I hope you will enjoy, Light-kun.”

“You—” Light couldn’t quite look at him. He stared down at the steak. Tried not to feel inadequate. “You won’t eat with me?”

“These are for him.”

“I couldn’t possibly eat all that.”

“He can eat it when we come back tonight.”

Light looked up. L wasn’t looking at him either. “It’s like having a friend over,” L said.

Light didn’t think so; he doubted L had any normal friendship growing up. He nodded anyway. “This is good,” Light commented after a bite. “I think.”

“I’m glad.”

But Light was lying. He wasn’t thinking about the food at all. “So you don’t plan on letting me go home? I have to take care of the house before Sayu comes home.”

“Take care,” L voiced flatly. “You mean cleaning.”

Light took time slicing the steak into cubes. The last time he had used a fork and a knife was a night-out with Yamamoto. They were hardly on speaking terms, now, and Light didn’t want to think about that. “Sayu isn’t going to do her part,” Light said.

“Her part?”

“She doesn’t clean,” Light explained.

“She will if there is no one.”

“I can’t just leave her alone like that for months on end.”

“Yagami-san will take care of it, I’m sure.”

Light set the fork down quietly. “Just tell me how long I will be staying here, Ryuga.”

“When we will catch Kira.”

 _We_. A part of Light was in awe; another part stayed lucid. “I can’t leave my family for an investigation that has the potential of lasting years. I’ll be neglecting my studies.”

“He will not be, as I am sure he is aware,” L said. “Tell me, Light-kun, what does your family mean to you?”

Light was not even pretending to care about the food, now. “I am not sure what you’re asking, Ryuga. You have come up with this idea in the first place to placate my dad.”

“Now,” L said. “I don’t believe Light-kun to be that stupid.”

There were other reasons. Reasons that Light had an idea of, that L did equally. None of them were going to say it; it would be losing. “I still don’t get what you want to ask me.”

“What does his friends mean to him, then,” L said, crossing his legs, elbow on the glass table. Then, half-teasing, half-mocking, a mood that Light qualified as something to be distinctly L-like, L said, “He is even able to answer anything I ask of him?”

“Why should I?”

“Because his life hangs on questions. On mine specifically.”

Light supposed that he should feel offended, but all he felt was apprehension; the sharp understanding of being seen. “Ryuga,” Light said. “I am not like you.”

L smiled. “Continue,” he said.

“I care about my family, if that’s what you want to know. I care about my friends. I am normal,” Light repeated. There was a part of him that even believed it. “I am nothing like you.”

L wasn’t bothered by the half-hearted insult, but he frowned, contemplating. “If Light-kun were Kira,” L said. “Who would he tell? His friends at the college or his father? Who will Kira turn to when he first found out that he can kill, almost supernaturally? Who is he sincere to?”

“My father,” Light said. “If I were Kira, I would tell my father.”

“But Yagami-san will never understand, will he? Kira has killed. His son is a murderer. Light-kun wouldn’t want to be seen as a murderer in his father’s eyes, would he?”

Light frowned. “I would think Kira sees himself as righteous.”

“Yes,” L said, not bulging. It was an easy trap; Light couldn’t fall for it now. “But Kira’s father is not involved. Kira must have hid it from him. Is it lonely, to fight for an ideal that no people you care for trust in?”

Light picked up the fork again. “You’re asking too many questions,” Light said instead. “Let me ask you one.”

L seemed to predict this; L seemed to know everything that he was about to say. L’s shirt was as white as his teeth when he flashed them to him, a sharp reminder of the knife beneath, the threat Light was threading on so far. Light played with his food, stabbed a cube of meat.

L said, “He is very welcomed to.”

Light asked, “Am I your friend?”

“Of course.”

“Will you tell me, then?”

“Tell him what?”

“Why.” Light chewed; there was blood in the meat. “My sister calls me boring. My friends call me dull. I call myself a realist. I want to live my life in the shade. I want a normal life, Ryuga. You want cases, and you want to solve them. You believe I am the key for one of them, one that captures your attention now. But eventually you will realise that it’s not me, that I am not Kira. Then I won’t be your friend anymore.”

L thought. He looked up. “But he is Kira,” L said.

Light shook his head. He wasn’t going to fall for it. “I just want to know why.”

L grimaced. It was odd to see something so human in L, as though Light had tainted him with his mundanity. Light noticed the soft, tender bruise on L’s ring finger. Must have hit it yesterday, Light thought. Anyone would have injured themselves if they moved that matter.

L simply refrained from speaking. Watari went into the room, and cleaned Light’s half-eaten meal, and a cup of cold milk was left on the table. It seemed lonely, there. In the shade of bright-hot light of Countermeasures and the even brighter shades of his ironed, unwrinkled shirt, L had seemed so, too.

Something lonely about it, Light thought. L took his hand in the car on their way to school. Light pressed the heel of his other hand to the window, watching the lines of people rushing through like shadows. Light let his fingers wander on the creases of L’s palm, then to the pulsing beat of the wrist. Lonely, it said. But Light had always been realistic in his demands, and will get what he deserve. 

When do I have to kill it? Light thought then. This loneliness. L. Whichever goes first. 


End file.
